Didn't I just write how nice it was to have Ben Stokes back on the show? And then BAM! The very next episode the evil HEAD OF COUNTE PETOFI...oh wait, just the evil head forces Ben to attempt to saw his own head off! By the way, can you ever really succeed in cutting your own head off? I would think you could only reach a certain point before you would have to stop...
So they get rid of Ben and, instead, who do they bring back? Why, none other than the woman with the pointiest chin in Collinsport...BETH CHAVEZ! What the hell were they thinking? Beth is in the bottom five of the shittiest actors ever to step foot on the DS set.
The order is as follows:
#5: Sabrina Stuart
#4: Hallie Stokes
#3: Beth Chavez
#2: Sky Rumson
#1: Sara Collins
On the brighter side of things, the Gerrard Styles storyline has been entertaining...him marrying Quentin's widow, Samantha, after he promised Wheels that he would murder her. Nice twist. And yes, I think we all knew Quentin wasn't dead and that he'd return but I was a little suprised how well he took his best friend banging his wife...that's not the Quentin Collins that I know.
And where they are going with this severed head storyline I have no idea, but I'm dying to find out...
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
...and now back to 1840!
All right...I'm finally back after a month hiatus.
Honestly, I simply needed to take a break from DS and watch something else for a little bit and recharge my DS batteries. I've done that so...back to the show!
The 1840 storyline just seems so damn familiar...like we've seen this entire thing two or three times before. We've got Julia trapped in the past meeting members of the Collins family who all secretly hate each other and are plotting behind each other's backs.
Some things I'm enjoying:
1) The Return of Ben Stokes! Wow! I did not see that coming. Ben is back even though he's 147 years old and his face is melting off...but's it's still nice to see him again.
2) I'm glad Chris Pennock is a main Collins in this storyline. He's been solid as a cast member since his mutating baby days and it's good to see him in a main role.
3) The Return of Evil Barnabus...it's about damn time!
Even with all the similarities to the Quentin's ghost storyline, I'm trying to keep an open mind and enjoy the storyline for what it is. One thing I'm not enjoying is all the boom mics in the shots. Is it just me or is there a boom in almost every shot lately? What the hell are those guys doing? Nothing takes you out of the moment like a giant fuzzy microphone dangling above the characters' heads.
Oh well...beware Gerard Stiles...or should I say IVAN MILLER! DAH DAH DAAAAAAAH!
Honestly, I simply needed to take a break from DS and watch something else for a little bit and recharge my DS batteries. I've done that so...back to the show!
The 1840 storyline just seems so damn familiar...like we've seen this entire thing two or three times before. We've got Julia trapped in the past meeting members of the Collins family who all secretly hate each other and are plotting behind each other's backs.
Some things I'm enjoying:
1) The Return of Ben Stokes! Wow! I did not see that coming. Ben is back even though he's 147 years old and his face is melting off...but's it's still nice to see him again.
2) I'm glad Chris Pennock is a main Collins in this storyline. He's been solid as a cast member since his mutating baby days and it's good to see him in a main role.
3) The Return of Evil Barnabus...it's about damn time!
Even with all the similarities to the Quentin's ghost storyline, I'm trying to keep an open mind and enjoy the storyline for what it is. One thing I'm not enjoying is all the boom mics in the shots. Is it just me or is there a boom in almost every shot lately? What the hell are those guys doing? Nothing takes you out of the moment like a giant fuzzy microphone dangling above the characters' heads.
Oh well...beware Gerard Stiles...or should I say IVAN MILLER! DAH DAH DAAAAAAAH!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Don't Hire Zombie Pirates to Redecorate Your House
Finally, the long drawn out 1995 storyline came crashing to a close...
..and I think the best part about the whole thing was that, even though Barnabas and Julia knew EXACTLY what was going to happen to Collinwood and they had a dozen clues to work with, they were able to prevent absolutely, positively nothing...
Were they able to prevent the death of the children?
No...
Were they able to prevent the death of Daphne?
No...
Were they able to prevent zombie pirates from busting into Collinwood and breaking shit?
Definitely not...
Personally, I applaud the deaths of David and Hallie...man, were those two annoying during that storyline. And what happened to the whole Roxanne is a vampire storyline? The writers just sort of forgot about it toward the end there. Roxanne was still locked inside Barnabas's secret wall, for goodness sake! The only positive of the whole thing was when Maggie got bussed off to the looney bin, never to return...
And how about those zombie pirates tearing that place apart? How funny was that?! There was this one point when one zombie pirate throws a pair of pants or something and they land on another zombie pirate's head! Classic...
Now Julia is trapped in 1840 by herself...oh, I can only imagine the facial expressions we're going to be treated to...
..and I think the best part about the whole thing was that, even though Barnabas and Julia knew EXACTLY what was going to happen to Collinwood and they had a dozen clues to work with, they were able to prevent absolutely, positively nothing...
Were they able to prevent the death of the children?
No...
Were they able to prevent the death of Daphne?
No...
Were they able to prevent zombie pirates from busting into Collinwood and breaking shit?
Definitely not...
Personally, I applaud the deaths of David and Hallie...man, were those two annoying during that storyline. And what happened to the whole Roxanne is a vampire storyline? The writers just sort of forgot about it toward the end there. Roxanne was still locked inside Barnabas's secret wall, for goodness sake! The only positive of the whole thing was when Maggie got bussed off to the looney bin, never to return...
And how about those zombie pirates tearing that place apart? How funny was that?! There was this one point when one zombie pirate throws a pair of pants or something and they land on another zombie pirate's head! Classic...
Now Julia is trapped in 1840 by herself...oh, I can only imagine the facial expressions we're going to be treated to...
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Collinwood: The House Where Common Sense goes to Die
Oh, it's been rough, ladies and gentlemen, it's been rough...
I'm struggling to get through this 1995 storyline. I was warned about the Leviathans (which I didn't think was all that bad), but c'mon! A little warning would have been nice. I can't help thinking that the destruction of Collinwood wouldn't be a bad thing at this point...
Three things that annoy me more than Sarah Collins' singing:
1) David and Hallie are a match made in Hell
Here's their attitude: "Oh, we're going to be turned into dolls and forced to live in this doll house for the rest our existence? Oh well...what are you gonna do? At least we won't get in trouble..."
What the hell?! You're going to be turned into freakin' dolls! Tell someone about the ghosts already! I've never seen two people so resigned to dying...
2) Sabastian Shaw: Reluctant Hippie
Sabastian knows the children are going to die...he doesn't want them to die...yet, he says NOTHING! He shows up at Collinwood every single day to see Maggie (even though he never does) and he thinks about telling someone the kids are in danger and still doesn't. C'mon, already! Put on that poncho and be a hero, damnit!
3) Barnabas and Julia: Easily Distracted
Barnabas and Julia have been to the future. They know something bad's going to happen. They know the 27 signs that lead to this bad thing and yet, all Julia does is sit around reading Gerard's journal while Barnabas chases after Roxanne Drew. Do they even care about the complete annihilation of Collinwood? I think not...
The only highlight of the recent episodes was the triumphant return of PANSY FAYE! I knew we hadn't heard the last of that song! I'm gonna dance for you! Gonna dance your cares away!
And so forth...
I'm struggling to get through this 1995 storyline. I was warned about the Leviathans (which I didn't think was all that bad), but c'mon! A little warning would have been nice. I can't help thinking that the destruction of Collinwood wouldn't be a bad thing at this point...
Three things that annoy me more than Sarah Collins' singing:
1) David and Hallie are a match made in Hell
Here's their attitude: "Oh, we're going to be turned into dolls and forced to live in this doll house for the rest our existence? Oh well...what are you gonna do? At least we won't get in trouble..."
What the hell?! You're going to be turned into freakin' dolls! Tell someone about the ghosts already! I've never seen two people so resigned to dying...
2) Sabastian Shaw: Reluctant Hippie
Sabastian knows the children are going to die...he doesn't want them to die...yet, he says NOTHING! He shows up at Collinwood every single day to see Maggie (even though he never does) and he thinks about telling someone the kids are in danger and still doesn't. C'mon, already! Put on that poncho and be a hero, damnit!
3) Barnabas and Julia: Easily Distracted
Barnabas and Julia have been to the future. They know something bad's going to happen. They know the 27 signs that lead to this bad thing and yet, all Julia does is sit around reading Gerard's journal while Barnabas chases after Roxanne Drew. Do they even care about the complete annihilation of Collinwood? I think not...
The only highlight of the recent episodes was the triumphant return of PANSY FAYE! I knew we hadn't heard the last of that song! I'm gonna dance for you! Gonna dance your cares away!
And so forth...
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Annoyance...thy name is Hallie...
I'm sorry but DS...you're killing me here...
Barnabas and Julia have returned to Collinwood 1970 to prevent the impending disaster that completely annihilates the Collins family...unfortunately, they learned absolutely NOTHING in the future and the only clues they have to go on are some vague, unspecific clues concerning events that occur right before the disaster at Collinwood. C'mon, Caroline! How difficult is it to simply write "The disaster will occur on August 4 at 3:30 pm"?
This storyline is beating me down harder than YAEGER!!! beating down Buffy Harrington right before he presents her with a painting. The major problem is that EVERYTHING is a carbon copy of the Quentin's ghost storyline. We've got a ghost trying to possess the children, a female ghost haunting the house (although Kate Jackson as Daphne is a huge upgrade over that pointy-chinned hack, Beth), and clues that precede the disaster just like there were clues preceding Quentin's death.
And then there's Hallie...oh my...
Replacing Amy "Everlasting Gobstopper" Jennings with Hallie Stokes is most definitely a major downgrade in talent. Does she really have to look like she's crapping her pants after every line she delivers? And why are these children so freakin' stupid? David and Hallie both know that something bad is going to happen at Collinwood and yet they refuse to tell the adults they're being harassed by Kate Jackson and the Java Queen! And their logic makes no sense at all! They don't want to tell anyone because they'll get in trouble...WHAT?! And now Roxanne Drew is back to distract Barnabas from the matter at hand (not that he'd be able to figure it out in time to stop it anyway), and I am just not a fan of that ginger, Roxanne, and her short, red boy haircut. I'm even having a hard time enjoying Chris Pennock in his new role as the hippie astrologist.
Oh well...at least Maggie hasn't been around much...
Barnabas and Julia have returned to Collinwood 1970 to prevent the impending disaster that completely annihilates the Collins family...unfortunately, they learned absolutely NOTHING in the future and the only clues they have to go on are some vague, unspecific clues concerning events that occur right before the disaster at Collinwood. C'mon, Caroline! How difficult is it to simply write "The disaster will occur on August 4 at 3:30 pm"?
This storyline is beating me down harder than YAEGER!!! beating down Buffy Harrington right before he presents her with a painting. The major problem is that EVERYTHING is a carbon copy of the Quentin's ghost storyline. We've got a ghost trying to possess the children, a female ghost haunting the house (although Kate Jackson as Daphne is a huge upgrade over that pointy-chinned hack, Beth), and clues that precede the disaster just like there were clues preceding Quentin's death.
And then there's Hallie...oh my...
Replacing Amy "Everlasting Gobstopper" Jennings with Hallie Stokes is most definitely a major downgrade in talent. Does she really have to look like she's crapping her pants after every line she delivers? And why are these children so freakin' stupid? David and Hallie both know that something bad is going to happen at Collinwood and yet they refuse to tell the adults they're being harassed by Kate Jackson and the Java Queen! And their logic makes no sense at all! They don't want to tell anyone because they'll get in trouble...WHAT?! And now Roxanne Drew is back to distract Barnabas from the matter at hand (not that he'd be able to figure it out in time to stop it anyway), and I am just not a fan of that ginger, Roxanne, and her short, red boy haircut. I'm even having a hard time enjoying Chris Pennock in his new role as the hippie astrologist.
Oh well...at least Maggie hasn't been around much...
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Collinwood - 1995
Barnabas and Julia have been magically transported to the future – the year 1995 to be exact – only to find Collinwood in shambles and most of the Collins family either dead or insane. Right from the start of the storyline, there are a few things that are noteworthy about the future…
1) In the future, fashion won’t have progressed at all. Everyone will pretty much wear what they did in the 70’s…
2) There will be absolutely no technological advancements whatsoever in the future. People still rock rotary phones and no one has a television…
3) Everyone will hate anyone who has traveled from a parallel time and refuse to answer any questions they ask, no matter how relevant or simple to answer…
This storyline doesn’t really make me think of the future at all; it makes me think of the past. Let’s see, there’s a mute ghost who torments the Collins family and forces them to leave Collinwood. Hmm…isn’t this exactly like the Quentin’s ghost storyline….I mean, EXACTLY! C’mon, DS! Who are you trying to fool? In fact, the guy who plays Gerard looks EXACTLY like David Selby! What the hell?! If you’re just going to repeat the storyline, couldn’t you have at least hired someone who looks a little different?
The only good thing about this storyline so far is watching some CLASSIC acting moments courtesy of the dynamic duo of Barnabas and Julia. This is the kind of stuff people are always mocking them for – from flubbed lines by Barnabas to the constipated facial expressions of Julia…classic stuff here…
1) In the future, fashion won’t have progressed at all. Everyone will pretty much wear what they did in the 70’s…
2) There will be absolutely no technological advancements whatsoever in the future. People still rock rotary phones and no one has a television…
3) Everyone will hate anyone who has traveled from a parallel time and refuse to answer any questions they ask, no matter how relevant or simple to answer…
This storyline doesn’t really make me think of the future at all; it makes me think of the past. Let’s see, there’s a mute ghost who torments the Collins family and forces them to leave Collinwood. Hmm…isn’t this exactly like the Quentin’s ghost storyline….I mean, EXACTLY! C’mon, DS! Who are you trying to fool? In fact, the guy who plays Gerard looks EXACTLY like David Selby! What the hell?! If you’re just going to repeat the storyline, couldn’t you have at least hired someone who looks a little different?
The only good thing about this storyline so far is watching some CLASSIC acting moments courtesy of the dynamic duo of Barnabas and Julia. This is the kind of stuff people are always mocking them for – from flubbed lines by Barnabas to the constipated facial expressions of Julia…classic stuff here…
Saturday, September 12, 2009
The Greatest DS Moment of All-Time!!!
So I've finally been witness to the greatest DS moment of all time, my friends. Let me set the scene for you: Quentin is arrested for the murder of Bruno Hess and Angelique (as Alexis) goes to visit him in jail and convinces him he must escape. Angelique then concocts the most diabolical and ingenious plan of all time! She screams out to the single law enforcement agent at the Collinsport police station, he rushes in to see what's going on, and then it happens...QUENTIN SOARS THROUGH THE AIR AND KARATE CHOPS THE INSPECTOR IN THE BACK OF THE NECK, RENDERING HIM UNCONSCIOUS AND ALLOWING HIM TO FLEE THE JAIL!!!
Man, what a spectacular and ridiculous moment! I will remember it for a long time to come, I'm sure...
The whole parallel time storyline has been all downhill since then.
The whole Roxanne storyline...LAME!
The mystery of Claude North...LAME!
The lack of John YAEGER!!!...LAME!
It did pick up towards the end with Roger being revealed as the murderer of Angelique (Totally called it by the way) and then Angelique discovering Julia Hoffman was actually DR. Julia Hoffman. It was obvious the storyline was coming to an end, though, when nearly every single main character was dead.
The end finally came when Stokes burned down Collinwood with Barnabas and Julia inside and they escaped back to their own time universe...or so they thought. Now they're in the future! Whoa! I just hope it's more entertaining than PT. I did not really enjoy my time spent in PT so I'm looking forward to their stay in the future.
Man, what a spectacular and ridiculous moment! I will remember it for a long time to come, I'm sure...
The whole parallel time storyline has been all downhill since then.
The whole Roxanne storyline...LAME!
The mystery of Claude North...LAME!
The lack of John YAEGER!!!...LAME!
It did pick up towards the end with Roger being revealed as the murderer of Angelique (Totally called it by the way) and then Angelique discovering Julia Hoffman was actually DR. Julia Hoffman. It was obvious the storyline was coming to an end, though, when nearly every single main character was dead.
The end finally came when Stokes burned down Collinwood with Barnabas and Julia inside and they escaped back to their own time universe...or so they thought. Now they're in the future! Whoa! I just hope it's more entertaining than PT. I did not really enjoy my time spent in PT so I'm looking forward to their stay in the future.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Maggie Evans Kills Again
Well...she's done it again. Maggie Evans has killed again! Why is it that the worst character on the show is always responsible for the death of the sweetest characters ever! This time, the victim was none other than...YAEGER!!! Poor Yeager...you should have stuck with Buffy Harrington.
Let's list the casualties so far:
1) Barnabas's evil character - Maggie destroyed Barnabas's evil character and forced him to become a sissy boy.
2) Joe Haskel - Man, this guy was doing all right until Maggie Evans came into the picture. After that, he was getting his ass kicked every week until he finally died...never to be seen again...
3) Nicholas Blair - Man, Blair was on a roll until his fixation on Maggie Evans. That was the beginning of the end. He was destroyed shortly after...poor Blair...
4) YAEGER!!! - Yaeger kicked Buffy's ass, dumped Sabrina's ass, and pretty much dominated Collinsport..until he kidnapped Maggie that is...
So Maggie claims another one, and it's only a matter of time before she ruins Quentin's life...moreso. Maggie Evans is the kiss of death. Beware the short skirts!
Let's list the casualties so far:
1) Barnabas's evil character - Maggie destroyed Barnabas's evil character and forced him to become a sissy boy.
2) Joe Haskel - Man, this guy was doing all right until Maggie Evans came into the picture. After that, he was getting his ass kicked every week until he finally died...never to be seen again...
3) Nicholas Blair - Man, Blair was on a roll until his fixation on Maggie Evans. That was the beginning of the end. He was destroyed shortly after...poor Blair...
4) YAEGER!!! - Yaeger kicked Buffy's ass, dumped Sabrina's ass, and pretty much dominated Collinsport..until he kidnapped Maggie that is...
So Maggie claims another one, and it's only a matter of time before she ruins Quentin's life...moreso. Maggie Evans is the kiss of death. Beware the short skirts!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The Yaeger/Angelique Alliance!
Wow...
Parellel time has finally kicked it into high gear with the return of all the major stars following the filming of the DS movie. Barney, Hoffman, and...ugh...even Maggie are back in the spotlight. My only question is where the heck is Bruno? The man's disappeared! Bring back Bruno!
My favorite recent happening has to be the alliance between Angelique and YAEGER!!! Even though Yaeger was involved with Sabrina and Buffy Harrington (whom I'm pretty sure he raped), he still couldn't help falling for that imbecile, Maggie Evans. What is it with this girl? Hmm...must be the microscopic skirts. Anyways, Angelique wanted Maggie out so she helped Yaeger kidnap her and now he's keeping her hostage in his rape villa where she spends her days looking scared with her gaping mouth and giant fish eyes.
But just when I thought no one could be more annoying than Maggie Evans, Sabrina Stuart comes out of nowhere to steal the crown! Man, that woman cannot act. She always has this weird half-smile on her face. It looks like she has cerebral palsy and only has control over half her face. No matter what emotion she's supposed to be feeling, she's always half-smiling. Scared? Half smile. Happy? Half-smile. Gassy? Half-smile. Thank God Yaeger saved me from her by choking her ass out. Thank you, Yaeger!
In the latest episode of "What were the writers thinking?, Barnabas spent two weeks crying about how he needs to get back to his own time and then, when he finally does, he cries about how he desperately needs to return to the parallel time to rescue Maggie. Uhh...what? He's back home! He did it! He succeeded! Why would he want to return to PT? There's another Maggie in his time who's just as stupid and probably also in danger whom he can save. Why did he return to PT? It doesn't make any sense! Oh well...maybe Yaeger will kill him too...
Parellel time has finally kicked it into high gear with the return of all the major stars following the filming of the DS movie. Barney, Hoffman, and...ugh...even Maggie are back in the spotlight. My only question is where the heck is Bruno? The man's disappeared! Bring back Bruno!
My favorite recent happening has to be the alliance between Angelique and YAEGER!!! Even though Yaeger was involved with Sabrina and Buffy Harrington (whom I'm pretty sure he raped), he still couldn't help falling for that imbecile, Maggie Evans. What is it with this girl? Hmm...must be the microscopic skirts. Anyways, Angelique wanted Maggie out so she helped Yaeger kidnap her and now he's keeping her hostage in his rape villa where she spends her days looking scared with her gaping mouth and giant fish eyes.
But just when I thought no one could be more annoying than Maggie Evans, Sabrina Stuart comes out of nowhere to steal the crown! Man, that woman cannot act. She always has this weird half-smile on her face. It looks like she has cerebral palsy and only has control over half her face. No matter what emotion she's supposed to be feeling, she's always half-smiling. Scared? Half smile. Happy? Half-smile. Gassy? Half-smile. Thank God Yaeger saved me from her by choking her ass out. Thank you, Yaeger!
In the latest episode of "What were the writers thinking?, Barnabas spent two weeks crying about how he needs to get back to his own time and then, when he finally does, he cries about how he desperately needs to return to the parallel time to rescue Maggie. Uhh...what? He's back home! He did it! He succeeded! Why would he want to return to PT? There's another Maggie in his time who's just as stupid and probably also in danger whom he can save. Why did he return to PT? It doesn't make any sense! Oh well...maybe Yaeger will kill him too...
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
YAEGER!!!
Finally the parallel time story lines are picking up. I'm a big fan of John Yaeger. I loved his debut where he walked into The Eagle and tore the place up and then totally macked on Buffy Harrington after beating up her boyfriend. The Yaeger/Harrington relationship is odd but entertaining. What I find so amusing is that Yaeger treats her like crap and she's totally into it. He beat the hell out of her and then gave her a painting and she was all like, "Oh, you're so sweet!" Umm...he just kicked your ass! But I guess assault is easily forgotten when you're given a present. Anyways, I'm interested to see where this is all going since Cyrus has Sabrina and Yaeger has Buffy. Two chicks but only one dude with split personalities...what is a guy to do...
Then the whole annoyance of the "Is Alexis really Angelique?" storyline finally ended when Angelique returned from the grave and took her sister's place at Collinwood. My only gripe with this storyline is that part of Angelique's plan to win Quentin back was forcing Maggie Evans to return. Angelique...what were you thinking?! Maggie should have stayed where she was (filming the DS movie), but I guess she was bound to come back eventually. My favorite part of this storyline has to be the friendship between Angelique and Hoffman. How neat is it to see those two on the same side?
And finally, everyone's favorite vampire finally returned to the show when YAEGER!!! broke into Loomis House and nearly freed Barnabas. Of course, now Barnabas is trying to win over Maggie Evans AGAIN with little to no success. Face it, Barny, it's just not going to happen! You've tried to mack Maggie Evans in the 1800's, 1969, 1897, and now in parallel time! It's time to move on! Oh, and he's also trying to get back to his own time...which is odd because he spent so long trying to get to the parallel time time and now he desperately wants to go back? Barny, sometimes I just don't know what you're thinking...
Then the whole annoyance of the "Is Alexis really Angelique?" storyline finally ended when Angelique returned from the grave and took her sister's place at Collinwood. My only gripe with this storyline is that part of Angelique's plan to win Quentin back was forcing Maggie Evans to return. Angelique...what were you thinking?! Maggie should have stayed where she was (filming the DS movie), but I guess she was bound to come back eventually. My favorite part of this storyline has to be the friendship between Angelique and Hoffman. How neat is it to see those two on the same side?
And finally, everyone's favorite vampire finally returned to the show when YAEGER!!! broke into Loomis House and nearly freed Barnabas. Of course, now Barnabas is trying to win over Maggie Evans AGAIN with little to no success. Face it, Barny, it's just not going to happen! You've tried to mack Maggie Evans in the 1800's, 1969, 1897, and now in parallel time! It's time to move on! Oh, and he's also trying to get back to his own time...which is odd because he spent so long trying to get to the parallel time time and now he desperately wants to go back? Barny, sometimes I just don't know what you're thinking...
Friday, August 21, 2009
DS Convention 2K9!
So the DS convention was this past weekend and it definitely surpassed any and all expectations I had going in...Let me just get out some general thoughts about the event and the cast members who were in attendance...
1) First of all, the organization of the event was poor...at best. It was unclear where you were supposed to go and what you were supposed to do and the people running the thing were pretty rude and unfriendly. The transition periods between segments was waaaaay too long and technological problems were a common occurrence of the day. Of course, from what I hear, that's pretty much how it is every year...
2) Jonathan Frid (Barnabas) - Jonathan is old...he may even be older than Barnabus was supposed to be on the show (200 yrs. old). I was glad I got to see him because I'm not sure how many more conventions he has left in him. He was friendly and energetic but most times he couldn't hear the questions being asked of him and needed an interpreter. The other problem is that he isn't a big enough fan of his own show to discuss it with his fans. He doesn't want to answer any questions about story lines or characters...he doesn't seem to think too much of the show at all...which is sad because it's really his only true claim to fame.
3) John Karlen (Willy) - I'm pretty sure Mr. Karlen was drunk most of the day. He was funny, but came off as kind of a jerk and his shoes were untied the entire convention. During the Q&A session, he talked about thinking the one director was a jerk and how Christopher Pennock (YAEGER!!!) kicked his ass one day. I know some of my fellow DS fans disagree with me on this point, but I didn't like Mr. Karlen one bit...not at all...
4) Lara Parker (Angelique) and Kathryn Leigh Scott (Maggie Evans) - These two are grouped together because they were very similar. It was obvious both thought they were God's gift to planet Earth and they both HATED each other. During the Q&A session, whenever a question was addressed to the entire cast, these two were the first to chime in. They would not SHUT UP! And every time Mrs. Scott was answering a question, Parker was rolling her eyes or looking at Scott like she wanted to tear her eyes out. Interestingly enough, Mrs. Scott was the only cast member I got my picture taken with and we even had a brief conversation...mainly because Parker's autograph line was a mile long and no one wanted to see Maggie. So I didn't have to zombie bitch slap Maggie because it seems like life has done it for me...
5) Marie Wallace (Eve) and Jerry Lacy (Trask) - There's not much to say about these two...mainly because neither one said much during the Q&A session. Mrs. Wallace seemed nice enough (if not a little insane), but I honestly can't say I remember a single thing Mr. Lacy said or did. He was just kind of...there. Rumor has it that he was charging $10 for a picture and autograph. You're good, Trask, but not that good...
By the way, if anyone stayed for the costume gala on Saturday night and saw the 80-year-old woman hula dancing to Josette's music box...tell me that wasn't one of the funniest things you've ever seen in real life...I nearly had an asthma attack...classic...
1) First of all, the organization of the event was poor...at best. It was unclear where you were supposed to go and what you were supposed to do and the people running the thing were pretty rude and unfriendly. The transition periods between segments was waaaaay too long and technological problems were a common occurrence of the day. Of course, from what I hear, that's pretty much how it is every year...
2) Jonathan Frid (Barnabas) - Jonathan is old...he may even be older than Barnabus was supposed to be on the show (200 yrs. old). I was glad I got to see him because I'm not sure how many more conventions he has left in him. He was friendly and energetic but most times he couldn't hear the questions being asked of him and needed an interpreter. The other problem is that he isn't a big enough fan of his own show to discuss it with his fans. He doesn't want to answer any questions about story lines or characters...he doesn't seem to think too much of the show at all...which is sad because it's really his only true claim to fame.
3) John Karlen (Willy) - I'm pretty sure Mr. Karlen was drunk most of the day. He was funny, but came off as kind of a jerk and his shoes were untied the entire convention. During the Q&A session, he talked about thinking the one director was a jerk and how Christopher Pennock (YAEGER!!!) kicked his ass one day. I know some of my fellow DS fans disagree with me on this point, but I didn't like Mr. Karlen one bit...not at all...
4) Lara Parker (Angelique) and Kathryn Leigh Scott (Maggie Evans) - These two are grouped together because they were very similar. It was obvious both thought they were God's gift to planet Earth and they both HATED each other. During the Q&A session, whenever a question was addressed to the entire cast, these two were the first to chime in. They would not SHUT UP! And every time Mrs. Scott was answering a question, Parker was rolling her eyes or looking at Scott like she wanted to tear her eyes out. Interestingly enough, Mrs. Scott was the only cast member I got my picture taken with and we even had a brief conversation...mainly because Parker's autograph line was a mile long and no one wanted to see Maggie. So I didn't have to zombie bitch slap Maggie because it seems like life has done it for me...
5) Marie Wallace (Eve) and Jerry Lacy (Trask) - There's not much to say about these two...mainly because neither one said much during the Q&A session. Mrs. Wallace seemed nice enough (if not a little insane), but I honestly can't say I remember a single thing Mr. Lacy said or did. He was just kind of...there. Rumor has it that he was charging $10 for a picture and autograph. You're good, Trask, but not that good...
By the way, if anyone stayed for the costume gala on Saturday night and saw the 80-year-old woman hula dancing to Josette's music box...tell me that wasn't one of the funniest things you've ever seen in real life...I nearly had an asthma attack...classic...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Even in Parallel Time Maggie Evans is Annoying!
Ugh...So the Leviathan storyline ended abruptly and then the always awkward transitional phase between story lines began where a few loose ends are tied up and nearly all the bad guys of the storyline are killed off. I must say that even though his acting was terrible, Sky Rumson had his one shining moment in the sun when he tossed Jeb off that cliff...classic...
So in order to cure his vampirism, Barnabus crosses over into a parallel universe (of course, this makes no sense because, even though he's in a different timeline, HE'S STILL A VAMPIRE). In this parallel time, Willie HOLLINGSHEAD Loomis is a famous author, Quentin is the master of Collinwood, Angelique is dead, and Maggie Evans is still annoying...I guess some things never change...
Anyways, the storyline is horrendous and tiresome so far. I watched a dozen episodes where Maggie ran around the house looking terrified and offended that people thought Angelique was way hotter than she was (which is true by the way). Maggie's terrified face looks so much like a dead fish with her bulging eyes and gaping mouth I feel like I should stick a hook in her upper lip. Then I watched a dozen episodes where EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THE COLLINS FAMILY met Alexis Stokes and thought she was Angelique (doesn't anyone in this family talk?). Then I watched a dozen episodes where various members of the Collins family pondered whether or not Alexis is really Angelique...LAME! Listen, I know Barnabus was off shooting the DS movie at this point but c'mon! You gotta do better than this! Bruno hasn't killed a single person in this timeline yet. All he's done is tried to desecrate a tomb and pretended to play the piano poorly...
The only redeeming quality of this storyline so far is the story tangent featuring Christopher Pennock (one of the few actors on the show who can actually act) as Dr. Cyrus Longworth in his Jekyll/Hyde storyline. The man does a good job and I'm interested to see how it plays out...and the best part of the storyline is that NO ONE CARES IF ALEXIS IS ANGELIQUE...which we all know she is...duh.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
The Leviathans End with...a fizzle...
What the hell happened to that storyline? I suppose the ending seemed so sudden because I never knew what the plan was in the first place...Jeb was going to marry Carolyn and then...they were going to give birth to slimy little Leviathan babies? Was that the plan? Who knows...
The ending was fairly predictable. As I predicted on this very blog, Jeb's Leviathan heart was turned to mush by Carolyn. This mushiness forced him to betray Nicholas Blair in his sparkly cape of evil. Then, after the destruction of the altar and the box, Jeb should have disappeared, but, instead, he remained alive by a SHEAR ACT OF WILL!!!
Didn't make much sense to me, but, hey, this is Dark Shadows we're talking about here...
Anyways, here are a few highlights and lowlights from the storyline...
MVP: Bruno!
Man, how diabolical was Bruno during that storyline? Not only did he terrorize that imbecile, Maggie Evans, but he nearly finished off Jeb with his ingenious plan involving Chris Jennings and the zombie sheriff. Although, the show never did explain exactly how Jeb and the werewolf escaped from a sealed tomb. Hmm...
Best Moment: Reunion between Nicholas Blair and Angelique
The look on Angelique's face when Sky introduced her to his mentor, NICHOLAS BLAIR, was priceless. Angelique, did you really think you'd be able to have a happy, normal marriage? Ha! An additional bonus of Angelique and Sky's separation was that Angelique returned to her conniving, witchery ways...
Most underused character: Professor Eliot Stokes
I really thought Stokes could have been more useful in this storyline. He had his moments near the beginning but then he just faded away. Did he forget about the Leviathan invasion? Where the hell was that guy when Barnabus and Julia needed him? Oh well...the man was Petofi so I guess we can cut him some slack...
Worst Storyline Tangent: Quentin and Amanda Harris Attempt to Return from the Dead
What a waste of time that entire debacle was! Maybe it's just because I hated Amanda Harris (the more annoying, pig-nosed version of Maggie Evans), but watching her bumble, cry, and complain during her escape from Purgatory Hotel just annoyed me. Thank God she was too stupid to cross that bridge...
Funniest Moment: Quentin smashing the lamp after pulling the sword off the wall
How funny was that when Quentin grabbed the sword off the wall and annihilated that lamp? And the best part was you could hear some guy cleaning it up in the background while the scene continued. What a DS moment!
On a side note, could Maggie Evan's skirt get any shorter? There were two occasions when I actually saw ass cheek flashed. Oh well...I guess Maggie isn't all bad...
The ending was fairly predictable. As I predicted on this very blog, Jeb's Leviathan heart was turned to mush by Carolyn. This mushiness forced him to betray Nicholas Blair in his sparkly cape of evil. Then, after the destruction of the altar and the box, Jeb should have disappeared, but, instead, he remained alive by a SHEAR ACT OF WILL!!!
Didn't make much sense to me, but, hey, this is Dark Shadows we're talking about here...
Anyways, here are a few highlights and lowlights from the storyline...
MVP: Bruno!
Man, how diabolical was Bruno during that storyline? Not only did he terrorize that imbecile, Maggie Evans, but he nearly finished off Jeb with his ingenious plan involving Chris Jennings and the zombie sheriff. Although, the show never did explain exactly how Jeb and the werewolf escaped from a sealed tomb. Hmm...
Best Moment: Reunion between Nicholas Blair and Angelique
The look on Angelique's face when Sky introduced her to his mentor, NICHOLAS BLAIR, was priceless. Angelique, did you really think you'd be able to have a happy, normal marriage? Ha! An additional bonus of Angelique and Sky's separation was that Angelique returned to her conniving, witchery ways...
Most underused character: Professor Eliot Stokes
I really thought Stokes could have been more useful in this storyline. He had his moments near the beginning but then he just faded away. Did he forget about the Leviathan invasion? Where the hell was that guy when Barnabus and Julia needed him? Oh well...the man was Petofi so I guess we can cut him some slack...
Worst Storyline Tangent: Quentin and Amanda Harris Attempt to Return from the Dead
What a waste of time that entire debacle was! Maybe it's just because I hated Amanda Harris (the more annoying, pig-nosed version of Maggie Evans), but watching her bumble, cry, and complain during her escape from Purgatory Hotel just annoyed me. Thank God she was too stupid to cross that bridge...
Funniest Moment: Quentin smashing the lamp after pulling the sword off the wall
How funny was that when Quentin grabbed the sword off the wall and annihilated that lamp? And the best part was you could hear some guy cleaning it up in the background while the scene continued. What a DS moment!
On a side note, could Maggie Evan's skirt get any shorter? There were two occasions when I actually saw ass cheek flashed. Oh well...I guess Maggie isn't all bad...
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Gearing up for the DS Festival in New York!
In preparation for the DS festival in TWO WEEKS, I've just endured a DS marathon for most of Sunday. I'm absolutely devouring this Leviathan storyline. It's definitely not as bad as everyone's said...at least not so far. I'm trying to get as far into the series as I can before the festival because I know the people there are going to be talking about stuff I haven't seen yet. The woman who played Roxanne Drew is going to be there and I don't even know who the hell that is! Anyways...here are some random thoughts from today's viewing...
*How awesome is it that it's Nicholas Blair who is pulling the strings of the Leviathan puppet? Answer: Aristede awesome. Bringing back one of DS's greatest villains of all time to seek revenge on the Collins clan was a stroke of genius. I nearly pissed my pants when he and Aristede...I mean, Bruno...shared the screen together. And what a great moment when Sky introduced his loving wife, Angelique, to the man behind all his success...Nicholas freakin' Blair...awesome...
*Speaking of Sky Rumson...he sucks. The guy can't act. He's bad...he's SARAH COLLINS bad...and that's bad.
*On the other side of the coin, Bruno is the freakin' man! Not only is the guy ruthless, but he's as smart as Profesor Stokes. How about that plan he hatched with him capturing the werewolf, tricking Jeb into the mausoleum, and then, when that didn't work, blaming the whole thing on Megan?! Genius! As I always say, "Don't worry...you've got Bruno!"
*I don't care what anyone says...Barnabus is way better as a vampire. He's totally lame as a regular guy. When he's a vampire he's got all kinds of special powers and he kills people. I'm glad he's been turned...glad I tell you!
*Oh, and I totally called Jeb turning into a sissy good guy the second Nicholas Blair was brought back. Why else would you need a bad guy the likes of Blair unless Jeb was going to go soft? The problem with DS is that they turn all their quality bad guys into lame good guys. Don't believe me? Check it out: Barnabus, Angelique, Quentin, and now soon-to-be Jeb. So lame...
*Maggie Evans is the most annoying person on the face of the planet. When I meet her at the festival, I'm going to zombie bitch slap her across the face for being so annoying. That is all...
*How awesome is it that it's Nicholas Blair who is pulling the strings of the Leviathan puppet? Answer: Aristede awesome. Bringing back one of DS's greatest villains of all time to seek revenge on the Collins clan was a stroke of genius. I nearly pissed my pants when he and Aristede...I mean, Bruno...shared the screen together. And what a great moment when Sky introduced his loving wife, Angelique, to the man behind all his success...Nicholas freakin' Blair...awesome...
*Speaking of Sky Rumson...he sucks. The guy can't act. He's bad...he's SARAH COLLINS bad...and that's bad.
*On the other side of the coin, Bruno is the freakin' man! Not only is the guy ruthless, but he's as smart as Profesor Stokes. How about that plan he hatched with him capturing the werewolf, tricking Jeb into the mausoleum, and then, when that didn't work, blaming the whole thing on Megan?! Genius! As I always say, "Don't worry...you've got Bruno!"
*I don't care what anyone says...Barnabus is way better as a vampire. He's totally lame as a regular guy. When he's a vampire he's got all kinds of special powers and he kills people. I'm glad he's been turned...glad I tell you!
*Oh, and I totally called Jeb turning into a sissy good guy the second Nicholas Blair was brought back. Why else would you need a bad guy the likes of Blair unless Jeb was going to go soft? The problem with DS is that they turn all their quality bad guys into lame good guys. Don't believe me? Check it out: Barnabus, Angelique, Quentin, and now soon-to-be Jeb. So lame...
*Maggie Evans is the most annoying person on the face of the planet. When I meet her at the festival, I'm going to zombie bitch slap her across the face for being so annoying. That is all...
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Jeb Hawkes: Super Mutant Baby Monster
Now I'm a huge Count Petofi mark but I must say that Jeb Hawkes is an interesting adversary for the Collins clan...Christopher Pennock does a fantastic job of portraying a 12-year-old in a man's body. My favorite part was when he just walked up to Carolyn in her backyard and was like, "Hi. Remember me? I'm Jebese Hawkes. Let's go get married, bitch."
Ok...that's not really what he said but he might as well have. I guess I don't really understand what he planned to do to her once he got her up in his room and took on his "true form." Of course, I'm pretty sure the writers of the show didn't know either which is why Quentin interrupted the marriage ceremony.
So I was sitting watching some DS, deciding what I thought about Jeb and I thought to myself, He's a fairly decent bad guy, but he's missing something...he needs something to really kick him up a few notches to "ultimate super villain" status. And then I realized what he needed...he needed Aristede in a giant fur coat...and then BAM!
ENTER BRUNO!
Oh man, now the Leviathans mean business. The thing I like about DS is the fact that the same actor will play nearly the exact same character from a previous storyline just with a different name. In this case, I wouldn't have even cared if they simply brought back Aristede and the Dancing Girl without ever explaining why or how he got there.
After all, awesomeness requires no explanation.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Amanda Harris: Too Stupid to Walk Across a Bridge!
So apparently it isn't overly difficult to escape purgatory and cheat death...all you have to do is walk over a bunch of rocks, avoid walking into a giant spider web, and successfully cross a bridge...not hard. But as simple as this sounds, apparently, it's too difficult for Amanda Harris (a.k.a. Olivia Corey) to accomplish...because she's an IDIOT!
I can't stand Amanda Harris...basically she's a more annoying, dumber version of Maggie Evans...and that's saying a lot because the original is more annoying and dumber than anyone else on the show. I mean...c'mon! You're trying to escape from purgatory...try to be a little careful. Don't walk backwards into a giant spider web and DO NOT just walk across a bridge without looking where you're going. I can't stand idiot damsels in distress...
Anyways, I'm glad she failed and returned to Hell with Mr. Best where she belongs...although I'm sure she'll find her way back somehow...they always do...
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Team Leviathan!!!
So I'm a ways into the Leviathan storyline and something just seems to be missing...
I think I know what it is...it's that team dynamic DS is so good at creating. Let me explain: During most of the major storylines, two major teams are created...a good guys team and a bad guys team. When the two sides are even in strength and number you've got yourself a good storyline...
For example, during the Petofi storyline you had some heavy hitters on both sides...
Good Guys: Barnabus, Angelique, Quentin, and Magda
Bad Guys: Petofi, Aristede, CD Tate, and Evil Tim Shaw
The Leviathan storyline just doesn't have the same dynamic:
Bad Guys: Barnabus, Elizabeth, The Todds, David, Amy, and super-aging evil baby
Good Guys: Julia Hoffman and an increasingly insane Paul Stoddard.
Those sides aren't even! Julia has to do some heavy recruiting...The other problem is that Barnabus isn't a very good bad guy. I enjoy the fact that he and Julia are enemies (nice change-up) but a reluctant Barnabus doesn't quite do it for me as far as bad guys go and the mutant evil baby isn't much of a physical threat at this point. Get Quentin's memory back and side him with Julia...then the sides will even out a little bit.
Oh, and did they really need to bring back CD Tate with his weird megaphone voice? What the hell was that? He was talking to Julia through a megaphone and she was, like, four feet away...That guy sure does bug me...
I think I know what it is...it's that team dynamic DS is so good at creating. Let me explain: During most of the major storylines, two major teams are created...a good guys team and a bad guys team. When the two sides are even in strength and number you've got yourself a good storyline...
For example, during the Petofi storyline you had some heavy hitters on both sides...
Good Guys: Barnabus, Angelique, Quentin, and Magda
Bad Guys: Petofi, Aristede, CD Tate, and Evil Tim Shaw
The Leviathan storyline just doesn't have the same dynamic:
Bad Guys: Barnabus, Elizabeth, The Todds, David, Amy, and super-aging evil baby
Good Guys: Julia Hoffman and an increasingly insane Paul Stoddard.
Those sides aren't even! Julia has to do some heavy recruiting...The other problem is that Barnabus isn't a very good bad guy. I enjoy the fact that he and Julia are enemies (nice change-up) but a reluctant Barnabus doesn't quite do it for me as far as bad guys go and the mutant evil baby isn't much of a physical threat at this point. Get Quentin's memory back and side him with Julia...then the sides will even out a little bit.
Oh, and did they really need to bring back CD Tate with his weird megaphone voice? What the hell was that? He was talking to Julia through a megaphone and she was, like, four feet away...That guy sure does bug me...
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Marie Wallace is INSANE!
Take a look at the face of insanity...
That's not even acting...I think there is legitamately something wrong with this woman. Every character she plays is insane. Eve was angry insane...Jenny was maternal insane...and now Megan Todd is possessed insane!
No matter which character she's playing, the insanity is usually the same...Her eyes narrow, her lips form into a scowl, and the voice! If you're going to be insane you've got to have a nice screech and Wallace has perfected the insane screech...
"YOU STOLE MY BABY! GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!"
Oh, and how creepy was that lullaby she used to sing as Jenny to those dolls? I still have nightmares about that lullaby. Creeeeeepy...
Anyways, I salute Marie Wallace for her quality insanity and the gigantic, insane jewelry she wears during the interviewis at the end of the DVD collections... Salute!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
1897
So I just got done watching the 1897 storyline...wow!
What a storyline!
I almost didn't want to return to 1969 after that tremendous trip into the past but alas...all good things must come to an end...
I must say that I was a little disappointed with the way Petofi went out...Garth Blackwood? C'mon! Petofi completely dominated a vampire, a werewolf, and a witch simultaneously and some limping spectre with a chain takes him out single-handedly...please...Although that's what he gets for turning on his wingman, Aristede...how I loved his little fez hat...
I think the 1897 storyline was so strong because of the tremendous villains...From start to finish, the storyline was filled with villains who took Barnabus and company to the limit!
Evil Quentin Collins
The Phoenix
Reverend Trask
Count Petofi w/ Aristede
You had such strong villains that Angelique was forced to turn face! Angelique? A good guy? I never thought I would see the day! Actually, I didn't care for it...I want to see her up to her usual no good antics in the near future.
So cheers to the 1897 storyline! Good stuff...
P.S. I just started the Leviathan storyline...not so sure about this one...I've heard bad things...
What a storyline!
I almost didn't want to return to 1969 after that tremendous trip into the past but alas...all good things must come to an end...
I must say that I was a little disappointed with the way Petofi went out...Garth Blackwood? C'mon! Petofi completely dominated a vampire, a werewolf, and a witch simultaneously and some limping spectre with a chain takes him out single-handedly...please...Although that's what he gets for turning on his wingman, Aristede...how I loved his little fez hat...
I think the 1897 storyline was so strong because of the tremendous villains...From start to finish, the storyline was filled with villains who took Barnabus and company to the limit!
Evil Quentin Collins
The Phoenix
Reverend Trask
Count Petofi w/ Aristede
You had such strong villains that Angelique was forced to turn face! Angelique? A good guy? I never thought I would see the day! Actually, I didn't care for it...I want to see her up to her usual no good antics in the near future.
So cheers to the 1897 storyline! Good stuff...
P.S. I just started the Leviathan storyline...not so sure about this one...I've heard bad things...
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Welcome to the Blog of Dark Shadows
This a place for all fans of the 1960's television series Dark Shadows to gather and discuss their favorite storylines, characters, and pretty much anything Dark Shadows related. I'm relatively new to the DS scene but I've been converted by a DS faithful into a devoted fan! So come join me in the mousoleum, take a sedative, and get ready to creep into the depths of the greatest soap opera ever to feature a severed hand, Dark Shadows!
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